Last night I had a hard time falling asleep. The year was coming to an end and I had lots on my mind. I was feeling good that at last finally all this has come to an end but then I started to feel bad. I tried to write but I couldn't use the net at that time so.. I write better when I'm writing something on my blog. If I write it on a paper I just don't get satisfied by whatever I write. So I wrote this, it's kinda bakwas but I'm writing it down anyways.

Okay this is really stupid. Please don't read it :P


   So it's a new sun today. I mean the first sunrise of the new year. I specifically watched it come out today. Saw the earth brighten with the first ray of the sun. It was a nice view :).. I feel like I'm blabbing today.. But I feel like it. I want to talk and keep on talking but I don't have anything to talk about =/  So I 'll just leave :)


ta ta! Happy new year to all of you :)

  


   Before the last sunset of this year I'd like to say a few things. Some words of thanks and some apology's. For some of you who had a hard time because of me, sorry for coming in your life and destroying your peace. Sorry for all those times I hurt you and was mean. Sorry for everything..

   For the others Thanks a lot for becoming a part of my life this year and thanks for all those smiles you gave me. I hope to begin this new year with all of you by my side and I hope to find you next to me at the end of every year.

   This year brought many new and some old people in my life and I'm very greatful for it.

   Winsome - An old mate came back in my life and its very pleasing to have her as my friend. I never thought we would come close like this. It's great having you as my friend :)

   Arrats - Such a person who can make me smile even in the darkest time. It's an honour to have a friend like you in my life :) A very big hearty thanks :)

   Young friend - Thanks for being a friend through thick and thin and listening to my nonsensical blabbing. It's nice knowing you  :)

   And the greatest thanks to M&M , yes my dear loving friend, you! Thank you for another great year and for all the past times too. :) Thank you so much! Thank you for making my life worth living, Thnx for being there for me even when I didn't ask Thank you for all the silence and the talks:)

   I love all of you with all my heart :) Thanks again :)

    I wish I could write and just keep on writing. spill my heart out. I'm tired of trying to suppress my feelings. I'm tired of keeping it all in, trying to keep myself contained just for all of you out there who care. But I can't take it any more. This is the limit. I want to shout it all out. Let go of it.. cry rivers until all is dry but alas I cant because im supposed to be mature.

   I want to tear you to pieces but I have to be nice and patient though u don't deserve it. Not at all. I don't want to be a grown up for now.. I wish I could go back..when I could cry with no fear, when I could curl in my mum's lap and sleep peacefully.. I wish ... I wish... I wish... And how I wish that I didn't wish... :(

   But.. things are not as I wish.. and so I have to wipe my tears.. I can't allow them to flow.. no.. I have to  keep them hidden in my heart.. *sigh* :'( :'(

  

  
   As time goes on things change, feelings cease to exist - heart changes place. At times the world seems to come to a halt - but then the forward motion starts again - a new story - a new beginning - new feelings - a new heart - life moves on :)

   And then time repeats itself... things start going down hill again - change occurs - the  world around us seems to stop - we stop living - our existence seems like a lie ... and then we promise ourselves never to feel, never to live.. But life is life and we are living beings.. somewhere deep down hidden from our sight, the spark of life is still ignited ... and after some time the story starts again... :)

   I'm back I'm back I'm back :):):) I feel so good today Masha'Allah. Thank you Arrats :)

   I feel like writing about you *smiles* but.. some other time maybe :) so, for today..  I don't know what happened and why I deleted my blog.. I can't even remember  who said it and what it was=/ but I just felt that I should and so I did.. Many people missed my blog :) that was nice :) .. and well for now I'm back :)

   I am a happy being today :) and it will remain so insha'Allah. You know what It's true roz roz ki bat or bht zyada bataon se charm nhi rehta.. It's great that you don't talk much because when you do its such a pleasant surprise it lifts me up and makes me smile :-)