You, that I have now lost
It was all but my fault
I was never there
cz there was too much for which I cared...
And now as I sit alone and ponder
all that you and I went through
I find myself guilty and to blame
But what good is this shame
as it is too hard to tame
things that have went way out of range..

"My cousin was getting married. we used to be the best-est friends ever, inseparable. Everybody always saw us together. Laughing, talking, giggling, cracking jokes. No one believed we could ever be found on our own. But I know nothing will remain the same anymore. Despite the thousands of promises my cousin made, I am feeling really sad. I just will never be the same again. We are going to fall apart I know that. I just Can't think how life will be after that. 

My cousin had promised that she would keep calling me every week. but Three months have passed since she got married and I haven't heard a word from her. Every time the phone rings I'm sure it's her but I am disappointed every time.
Today the phone rang. I jumped up to receive it. I knew it would be her and guess what!! It was! I was overwhelmed! I couldn't utter a word! I was out of my mind until I heard her say, 'Give the phone to aunty, I need to ask the recipe of qorma' I stood there with my mouth hanging open ... I couldn't believe my ears.. It had been three months and now that she had finally called she didn't even ask how I was... I felt he tears welling up in my eyes.. I quickly handed to phone to my mom and ran to my room and cried my heart out. I knew, I just knew that I had lost her forever and today proved this.. </3 "

Is this about to come true in my life too? ........ :'(

   How does it feel when no one is ready to listen to you. No matter how hard you try, your voice goes unheard. As if your not wanted there. Your presence seems like nothing but an undesirable burden forced on others - repelling...

   And all  this does nothing, it has no effect what-so-ever except that your hearts breaks. But all you can do is be quiet and patient *smiles*

No one will see, no one will know
Deep inside I'll suffer alone
My heart is now a dungeon sealed
Left alone in immense ordeal

My pain will no longer be yours
I've sealed my lips, you'll hear no more
I've chocked my heart never to speak again
Now all the ache will obscure within
The lips won't betray but a pretentious smile
And with it the tears in the eyes will dim

   God knows whats best for us and when. Man is just too impatient. He doesn't like to be kept in the dark and waiting and get's worried when there is nothing to be worried about. He gets worked up so easily and on the smallest things possible. Everything is planned, all you have to do is pray and trust Allah for it and relax until the time for it comes. Cz even you don't wait patiently it won't change things. Things won't hurry just because you want 'em too. Only you will have a hard time no one else so save yourself from all the trouble and let go of everything :) #AdviceToSelf